Why I’m Letting Go of “Balance” as a Life Goal—and What I’m Replacing It With
For a long time, I believed that balance was the key to a well-lived life. I chased it, lived by it, and even taught others how to find it. I saw balance as the ultimate sign of success—especially as a woman and a mother.
The image I always carried in my mind was a set of scales: everything in perfect proportion, nothing tipping too far in any direction. If I could just get it right, I thought, I’d feel whole, steady, and fulfilled.
But balance was always fleeting. I’d sometimes catch a glimpse of it—maybe for a day or a week—but it never stayed. And more often than not, I felt like I was failing. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t “do it all” or “hold it all together” the way I thought I should.
Becoming a mother only intensified that pressure—and the disillusionment that followed. As I stepped deeper into motherhood, I was forced to confront my old beliefs. What I had once relied on to feel grounded—my pursuit of balance—was now making me feel ashamed, overwhelmed, and disconnected from myself.
At first, I felt angry. I grieved the version of me who seemed to carry things more easily. I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t live up to the expectations I had for myself.
But over time, something shifted. Almost four years into this journey, I started to feel a new metaphor rising within me. Instead of scales, I now see a container.
A container is something that holds or carries. It doesn’t demand symmetry or perfection. It doesn’t panic when something new is added or when something shifts. It simply holds space.
This image has been profoundly healing for me. Unlike balance—where one tiny change can throw everything off—a container is adaptable. It expands. It makes room. Life becomes less about getting everything “just right” and more about holding what matters with care and flexibility.
Some days, certain priorities come forward. Other days, they recede. There’s no hierarchy in this model—no pressure to keep everything in perfect alignment. Instead, I focus on what needs attention right now, trusting that everything else is still held safely within the container of my love, effort, and presence.
Letting go of balance doesn’t mean letting go of intention. It means allowing for fluidity, humanity, and change. It means honoring my limits without shame. It means creating a life that’s responsive, not rigid.
And perhaps most importantly, it means I no longer feel like I’m failing when things shift—because they always will. But now, I have space for that.
Feeling the Shift, Too?
If you're in a season of reevaluating what it means to live, love, and lead from a grounded place—one that honors your evolving self—you're not alone.
If working with someone through this transition feels like part of your next step, I invite you to reach out. You can connect with me, Cristen Smith, at hello@cristensmithwellness.com.
It would be an honor to support you in creating a container that reflects who you are becoming.