The Healing spiral of C-PTSD

Reclaiming your difference as a gift, not a flaw

One of the most persistent wounds of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) is the deep, often unspoken belief: I am different, and that must mean something is wrong with me.

This belief doesn’t form overnight. It builds slowly, over years of being othered, overlooked, shamed, and outright abandoned. Survivors of complex trauma often learn to disconnect from key parts of themselves just to survive. It’s a strategic and intelligent adaptation that comes at an extremely high cost.

A core part of healing CPTSD involves cultivating safety. This is part of my role as a therapist. I don’t just mean emotional safety, but physical, relational, environmental, and even spiritual. Safety around simply existing. For many, this alone is revolutionary.

But something interesting —paradoxical even- happens as we deepen into our healing.

It’s a bit like a double helix, or the Fibonacci spiral in nature: we revisit old wounds, but not in the same way. We return with new eyes, deeper awareness, and greater self-compassion. What once looked like regression is our evolution.

One day, we realize something powerful:
We’re not just safe to exist. We’re safe to be fully ourselves.

This can be startling. Because now, we’re not only aware of our gifts, our brilliance, our innate worth—we're also aware of how these very qualities once made us targets. Our difference is no longer a danger, but it may still feel risky to own it.

And this is the twist.

When we begin to fully embody our uniqueness, we bump up against the original wound again:
“I’m so different.”

But this time, we are not small.
We are not fragmented.
We are not alone.

This time, we carry with us:

·       The clarity of how we were made to feel small

·       The knowledge of systems and structures that benefited from our shrinking

·       The grace we've extended to ourselves through the healing journey

·       The tools to stay regulated, connected, and whole

·       The radical realization that yes, I am different—and that’s the best thing I can be

Healing from CPTSD is not about becoming “normal.” It’s about becoming more you. The version that had to disappear in the first place gets to fully express, play, and live now.

So if you’re in that part of your journey—where the spiral feels like déjà vu, where the wound reappears just as your light grows brighter—pause. Breathe. And know this:

You’re not going backward.
You’re ascending—

If you’re walking this path and need support reclaiming your right to exist—and to shine—therapy can help. I work with women, trauma survivors, and sensitive souls who are ready to come home to themselves. Reach out at hello@cristensmithwellness.com or learn more at www.cristensmithwellness.com. You don’t have to spiral alone.